Written by Danijela Capan
In many organizations, two recurring challenges emerge. Managers often say they do not have enough time to focus on people, while HR professionals observe that employees, and sometimes managers themselves, do not take sufficient responsibility. At first glance, these may appear to be separate issues. In practice, they are often closely connected.
One of the underlying dynamics can be understood through Transactional Analysis. Under pressure, managers frequently shift into what is known as the Parent ego state. This can take the form of a controlling approach – directing, correcting, and making decisions, or a more supportive but equally limiting pattern, where managers step in, solve problems, or take over tasks.
These behaviours are usually driven by good intentions. Managers want to ensure quality, meet deadlines, and support their teams. However, over time, this way of operating creates unintended consequences.
The unintended consequences
When managers consistently take responsibility for decisions and solutions, employees gradually adjust their behaviour. They begin to rely more on direction, hesitate to take ownership, and escalate issues that they could otherwise resolve independently. This often leads to frustration on the manager’s side, expressed in questions such as: “Why don’t people take responsibility?”
At the same time, responsibility has been subtly, but consistently, taken away from them.
What triggers this pattern
This shift into the Parent ego state is rarely conscious. It is often triggered by context. Time pressure, high stakes, previous mistakes, or a lack of trust in team capability can all contribute. In addition, pressure from senior leadership, high personal standards, or unclear roles and expectations can reinforce the tendency to step in and take control.
In everyday work, this can look like rewriting an employee’s work instead of providing guidance, stepping into meetings to correct the course, or answering questions that the team could resolve on their own. It may also involve making decisions that would be more appropriately owned by the team. While these actions may appear efficient in the moment, they gradually create dependency.
The shift: from Parent to Adult
A more sustainable approach is operating from the Adult ego state. This does not mean stepping back or becoming less involved. Rather, it involves engaging in a way that is clear, grounded, and focused on shared responsibility.
From this position, managers are more likely to ask questions instead of offering immediate solutions, clarify expectations rather than control execution, and hold people accountable instead of stepping in prematurely. The shift is subtle but significant: moving from a mindset of “I need to make this work” to “How do we ensure this works effectively together?”
What changes in the team
When managers consistently operate in this way, team dynamics begin to change. Employees start thinking more independently, taking greater ownership, and engaging more directly in discussions. Communication becomes more open, and decision-making is more distributed. Over time, dependency on the manager decreases, and the manager gains more space to focus on strategic priorities.
Although this approach may initially feel slower, it leads to stronger performance and more sustainable accountability.
Practical ways to support the shift
Two simple practices can help managers remain in the Adult ego state.
The first is creating a pause before responding. Instead of immediately offering a solution, it is useful to reflect: Am I solving this on behalf of the employee? What question could help them think this through?
A small shift from giving answers to asking questions can significantly change the dynamic.
The second is consciously returning responsibility. When someone brings a problem, rather than taking it on, the manager can ask: What options have you considered? What would you recommend? This keeps the manager engaged, while reinforcing ownership where it belongs.
Final reflection
Many organizations aim to strengthen ownership and accountability. However, these outcomes are not created through expectations alone; they are shaped through everyday leadership behaviour.
A useful question for reflection is:
“Where might I be unintentionally taking responsibility away from my team?”
Addressing this question is often the starting point for meaningful and lasting change.